Blog post of mostly confusion...and mixed feelings...I think?

I'm not in the mood to blog right now but I thought I'd leave a post before I go missing again for another 2-3 months.

Just kidding. I've been wanting to blog..I just didn't have the time to open my laptop. If I did, I wouldn't have the internet to occupy myself with.

So...somewhere between marking pages of confusing (and horrible, might I add) work and vomiting blood because of it... my English went a little ugly. I don't know, I think it did. I'm making a lot of mistakes and it's quite... I don't know how to say it. It makes me uncomfortable.

Only because the people I mix with these days are pretty special. I have other adjectives to describe them with but they're pretty offensive so....

Never mind. By the way, this next picture serves as a reminder for me on Wednesday:

I'm pretty calm right now, like what I was when I took the exam but I don't know what's going to happen when I actually take the results. At times like this I really wish I could see the future. But then again....it's best if I don't have to collect anything at all.

I've been preparing myself mentally anyway, because good or bad, people are going to ask me what I got. That's something I can't avoid, unfortunately. No matter how much I don't want them to, people are still going to be..people.

All my life I've always been a little more anxious than everyone else so this year feels a little weird cause I'm not actually worried about it like I normally would be. I mean, I am worried, but no, not really. It just feels empty. Not happy not sad not nothing.

I also notice that I've been avoiding facebook and contacting in general. I don't know why. It's not something I intentionally do. I just don't feel like going out there. It doesn't feel right.

This is a very familiar feeling. Hopefully, I'll snap out of it.

In case anyone's wondering, (internet souls, lol) the last few weeks have been rocky for me. I'm not going to go into detail, but yeah. I am alive, I've just been really busy doing work (and a lot of overtime. I don't even know how that is possible when I work in my own house).

I've also been doing a lot retail therapy. I wanted to snap a photo of the cosmetics I've bought this month ALONE to show you how serious it is, but then I got lazy. Hah. Trust me when I say a lot.

I've also been baking. (Another stress reliever, yay!) Pictures in my phone. Too lazy to connect the damn thing into this bloody laptop.

Also, I'll be spending my day at the edu fair tomorrow. Seriously, why am I getting a prelude to a week I know is going to be horrible? WHY?

There are more creative ways to torture me. Just sayin.

Before I attempt to sleep, here's a saying I'm trying to stick to :

Don't make mountains out of molehills.

Goodnight.

My job

It's been a pretty tiring week. Mostly because I start work at 5pm and end at 12am. :/ that is if I'm lucky. If I get a lot of books, I can finish as late as 2am. TALK ABOUT CRAZY.

Now, if most of you are confused...No, I'm not doing anything illegal. Hahaha. I actually start teaching at 5pm and end at 8.30pm. But because I'm doing two jobs, I start my second one at 9.00pm.

Besides teaching, I mark the students' books. 

Let me show you.

These are the pile of books I go through everyday. This is just half :( I finished half and put them back so I couldn't photograph them.

But yeah. This is what I've been doing for a week. I'll be doing this for the next few months. Thank God I have a little helper ;)

No, I kid. She just makes my work harder to complete. Hahaha.

PS: I made my first ever apple pie!

It tastes better than it looks, I promise :P

Day 7 - A picture of one of your favourite moments

As I have mentioned countless of times in my blog, I hate taking photos. Regardless of any circumstance... me being captured alone, in a group, or with a person... I seriously hate taking photos (but I'm trying to change that now). That's the sole reason why I don't have any pictures capturing my favourite moments. Probably there are pictures, but they certainly aren't with me. LOL. Don't know, don't care. I'm too lazy to find.

For the sake of this post, this photo was taken at a good moment;

I loved it. But to say that it was my favourite...isn't quite right. 

Verbally, one of my favourite moments was when my family and I went karaoke-ing in September.I liked how everyone was actually present in PERSON, and not in heart or in soul or whatever. That means Jinol's sexy self was finally present after 5 years of being absent in every family event.

The children were noisy and whiny, as always. For some very odd (and annoying) reason, they seem to like the song Party Rock Anthem. So much that they feel compelled to sing everyday I'm shuffling every 5 freakin minutes. Now, I may not be the most sensitive person in the family, but I am one of the notorious ones for being irritable. They literally grew the devil in me. That's all you need to know.

After that they got all emotional and upset because the adults were hoarding the karaoke machine. So they slumped on the sofa with their own version of the I just got my period face and went to sleep.

The adults were pretty happy. We were mostly singing oldies cause...my father doesn't know the music now. We're all natural lovers of oldies so that wasn't so much of a problem.

It was just a favourite moment. I can go on and on about everything that happened that day, but it still won't do it justice.

It was that goooooood.

Day 6 - A picture of your handwriting

I've always liked my handwriting :)

Day 4 - A picture of your eyes

In the morning, my eyes were swollen. I couldn't explain why.

Instead of having motherly-love, my mother teased me the whole morning. Seriously...how are we related? Don't answer that.

Day 2 - A picture of you

I apologize if you sense any awkwardness. I don't like snapping my own pictures :/

I CANNOT believe the next 5 posts are going to be pictures.

Day 1 - Introduce yourself

1. My legal name is Landy Sarah Anthony but I use Landy Sarah Dawson all the time (unless whatever I'm doing requires me to use my legal name). I have no reason for this, I just prefer the surname Dawson. One day, mark my words, I'm changing my name.

2. Born on the last day of June. The youngest child.

3. I'm half Indian and half Kadazan. Used to hate being a mix-raced person, but I've learned to embrace it.

4. I have three siblings. One sister and two brothers. I'm equally close to my two eldest siblings, however, I'm closest to Jinol (the third child) because of his idiocracy and sense of humour. We have a lot in common, from the way we prefer how our instant noodles are cooked to the type of t-shirts we buy. It's probably because he was born before me.

5. I love reading. I have a few authors I like, but at the moment I'm digging Sophie Kinsella. Confessions of A Shopaholic got me hooked to her but my favourite book would have to be... Twenties Girl.

6. I love makeup as well. Love is an understatement; I think I'm addicted. It all started with a mascara and an eyebrow pencil which I THOUGHT was an eyeliner. Funny story. I can spend hours watching makeup tutorials on Youtube. It's something I'm really passionate about.

7. I prefer cats over dogs. Mostly because I prefer coming home to a fat, lazy cat.

8. I have a phobia of heights, closed spaces, and cockroaches.

9. Current favourite colours are pink, turquoise and taupe. It's always changing. I can be unpredictable at times ;)

10. I love the idea of soulmates. I read a book about it once and I thought the idea was so adorable!